Thursday, July 26, 2012

In the Name of "They're Christian"

This should not be taken as an essay or a position or a vignette. This is merely a rant.
Sometimes as a Christian in this tolerance-turning world we feel a sort of pressure to promote Christian art and Christian artists and chick-fil-a and any other person or company willing to slap a bible verse on a cup or close on Sundays or play Christian music or say that they pray or an athlete who points the proverbial finger to the heavens. And all this may be good in the ‘us not supporting sinfulness’ kind of way, but what’s the middle ground? How seedy does a great song or artist have to be to warrant a boycott, how unmerited does a Christian song or artist have to be to not forgive him because he or she sings or plays or writes for Jesus? It’s not that I necessarily have a problem with this first question as there are songs that I don’t listen to because they take me into darkness rather than lighting my way, and I think this list of songs is different for everyone but is surely not one that can be exclusively genre based or one that can be a list of songs to listen to because there are way too many edifying, powerful, bold, telling, and truthful songs out there that to create a list of ‘do’s is too small a thing. It’s this latter question that has been much the struggle for me as a 17 year old soon to be 13 year-running Christian school graduate with a church and family walling me in with whatever heaven, hell, punishment, forgiveness, judgment, or mercy they need too to keep me within those walls. For the most part I haven’t wanted to live outside of those walls but only because my ultimate goal is living inside God’s will and when that fits in the walls it works great and when it doesn’t...well…it doesn’t.      
 Neil Gaiman in a commencement speech said that his life was entirely centered on getting to the place (he called it the mountain) that he desired to go, and he said that sometimes he had to say no to good jobs because it would be taking him away from the mountain whereas if those jobs had come earlier he probably would have taken them because they still would have been closer to the mountain then where he was at that time, but sometimes those very good things if they are the wrong choice can be very bad things. Christian music, Christians in the arts, Christians in sports—it’s all wonderful…done right.
God is glorified when anyone raises their voice in praise to him— even so far as to promise that one day the rocks will cry out if we don’t. But does that mean every Christian ought to be a singer or a musician. Certainly every aspiring athlete that does their best does not make it to the pros, yet those that do get inflated to demigods and skyrocket to stardom on the wings of religion. Similarly, I feel that as Christians we forgive poor talent in the name of Christ when what we ought to be doing is praising Christ for those with talent and praying for these people to praise him as well. I am tired of turning to the Christian radio station to hear a 3 chord song screamed by an average singer with lyrics that are so shameful I’d think it was a different God. My Jesus is not a deity fitted with appropriate words only the explicit ones and the imaginary ones can get at his majesty so why do we forgive these artists for shanty songs? Because they said Jesus in it? Because they have a good testimony? Is that what we pay for? Because I’m tired of hearing Jesus’ name on bad art. Jesus is not the good that makes bad art not bad he is the good that makes sinful songs and sinful people’s actions reflect glory to himself. That’s my Jesus

Your Voice

I’m tired.
Tired of writing so many love poems for someone that doesn’t exist
Or at least for someone I don’t know yet.
So instead I’ll write about your voice.
I’ll write about how it is music
Music that drowns out my stuttering
You, you breathe like a symphony and you speak like a song
A sultry mix of strings you have yet to go wrong
When you talk with the wind each word is just strong
enough.
And when I reached for you in infinity and could pull out only this voice
You shattered me soon after I believe
With the sound of silence
With the evaporating sound of you not speaking
Into me
When you talk to me you take each piece
And with the intricacy of eternity you mold me back together
From the ends of eternity you gather me and fit me with myself
And that’s enough
For now
Because I have run out of dream to keep making things up
And your voice melts me
And then floods me with sweetness
Drowning
In a sea of your smile and your words
I haven’t to say if I lived before but I know not like this
Not like now
In each moment you’re here
Playing orchestras in my ear
Without fear
And part of me wants to kiss you
But then I’d have to bear the silence
With you not there to make such amends
As to open your mouth and fill me
With the one thing you can--
With your voice