Do You Hear Her

It’s her Birthday today—

They don’t keep track

In a culture that’s more about building houses than making homes

Always growing out and never growing in

She has only a fake fireplace

As a candle. No cake.

Confetti.

The shrapnel of a broken family.

She sits in her room with her door locked

IPod in to drown out the domestic abuse she never passed out as party favors.

All of the silences when they aren’t around.
 

Do you hear her?
 

She sits in the back of the class

She has seen too many masks and heard too many fake laughs.

She lost her own long ago.

Leaving only black eye shadow

Like paint

To cover her empregnant eyes to deep for any other color
 

She wears hoodys and bracelets

Failing to hide the shame of her scars

Refusing to be called on

Too many people have walked on her opinion

Her wings are clipped

She no longer believes in flying

Just getting by and...

Hoping that she only has a little while left

Before she finds a decent way to die.

Searching for the right last breath.

One as dissatisfying as her life
 

Do you hear her?
 

She speaks with the scent of alcohol in the  stagnant air

Dripping herself out of her wrists

Longing to cover herself up

Fully convinced the only way was drowning.
 

She is tired of being wanted like a victim

For her waking up is something

Breathing, not nothing.
Every second she makes a burdened and conscious choice
To re-enlist in this debauchery of life
Only out of fear
Not dying is her life
The passion is dying away
 

You sit in the front of the class

Making bad jokes

Whispering your loneliness away.
 

She hears you.

 

A Letter to the Galaxy

I wrote a letter to the galaxy today
Just to tell it that 2 stars had moved to a better home in your eyes
And I postcripted a question to God
In case you really were an angel
You didn't understand what I was writing
But as you laughed
I can understand why the stars flung themselves from their thrones
As if the only thing that held them up were broken yo-yo strings
And when I look into you and see the star that sparkles each pupil
I sense what it must have felt like when they collided with your eye
With the color of a golden butterfly wallowing in an Oregon sunset
It was too beautiful
It forced the lines around your giggling eyes up
Like a sandstorm kneeling in prayer
Yet even when your eyes are closed
You lullaby my traveller's heart to sleep
With the violin and cello duet of your eyelashes
Blinking
You put me at peace like a jazz chord that sounds more like summer rain
Evaporating
And then you let me swim in the floodwaters of your kiss
Drowning you in it
Just so I can save you
Filling your lungs without air
So you know how I feel when you aren't beside me
When you smile
I want to hold you
Like the big dipper holds the sky
I want to dip into that infinity
And find even more time to hold you
So I can squeeze you like Orion's belt
Let me orbit you like Mercury, you
You can be my sun
And I know i'll get burnt
Because I'm way too close
But I don't ever want to know what it's like to not feel your warmth
When you die
If I can still breathe,
I will blow your ashes into space
Where they probably ought to be
And you can trail the back of a star
And I will wish on you
Crash into the sun
So I can dream you ever into my tomorrows
And every time I open my eyes
I will realize
Just how much you take my breath away.