There are a lot of reasons people forget to breathe
When you realize that the word safety is written on every gun
And that that doesn't make it safe
When towers fall out of the sky like infidel pancakes,
Smashing to earth in a reverse nuclear explosion
And Japan laughed behind tight labored skin
When you realize you are responsible for something out of control
Another heart beating
A peanut heart in black and white with a machine and jelly
Like the sandwich of was and will be and is
As a nation watches one man catch and not catch a ball
Or hit one
Or dunk one
And the edge of all of the theater seats collapse because no one sat back far enough
That moment of falling
Right after jumping
Looking at the cliff and wondering why the hell you jumped
Missing how worth it the fall had been.
But you are mine
The reason I forget to breathe
I remind myself to breathe so I can be alive for you as long as possible
For more moments to stand next to you
In such beautiful irony that doing so makes me asthmatic
And that bitch doctor won’t give me an inhaler.
I want to unlock the secret of your smile
Tuck it away in folds of myself that only you and God see
Save it for when your eyes have a rainy day
Pull out your smile like an upside down rainbow of hope
Or a bright yellow umbrella in the long-winded story of I love you
As you laugh like a bridge I can’t and must cross
I want to meet the person who told you that you could look in a mirror
And see what you look like
Darling you are more beautiful than any glass could make
Our creator is all you reflect
Who told you how to measure your years in numbers
Rather than smiles, tears, and days you watched the sunset?
Who taught you how to make a wish on milkweed dandelions?
Or told you that shooting stars were magic?
I feel magical when I am with you
Covered in tinker bell’s fairy dust
Which lands an awful lot like your kisses do
This is the deepest secret.
The one the world screams in deaf ears
In kindergarten
Or on your diploma
Or on the bus out of new jersey at three a.m. beside the little Indian boy who couldn't read
Or in the symphonies that fill up stadiums of people hoping to avoid the silence
Or when they tell you, you have cancer
Or when your first dog dies
Or when the ocean washes away your fresh footprints like a salty hourglass kiss
Or when the cancer returns
Or when someone taught you how to pray
Or on your deathbed when someone still asks how old you are
And also in your stumbling, glorious, wet, can’t have just one first kisses
The way you whispers my name and it sounds better in your mouth than my own
When your right hand doesn’t know what your left is doing
And your left hand did something good
When you realize that god designed your fingers to fit perfectly in someone else’s
When love arrives
The disaster my break up poem would be
When you realize that I won’t ever stop loving you
When I cry at a stoplight because your gone
When I turn the car whatever direction you are
When I drive to see you with the heartbeat of a bumblebee
And sweaty palms gripping the wheel
When everything seems to be taken but they can’t take what you have
When someone tells you you're beautiful
With your galactic love and star flecked eyes
Here is the deepest secret
This thing that is keeping the planets from crashing into each other
Like towers planes weren't supposed to hit
Like your eyelashes beating as your cheeks blush
Like citizen feet on the road to Selma
Like rebellion, love, and mistakes and also like sweet tea on a Sunday afternoon
That there are a lot of reasons we forget to breathe
Ellie, you're mine.
When you realize that the word safety is written on every gun
And that that doesn't make it safe
When towers fall out of the sky like infidel pancakes,
Smashing to earth in a reverse nuclear explosion
And Japan laughed behind tight labored skin
When you realize you are responsible for something out of control
Another heart beating
A peanut heart in black and white with a machine and jelly
Like the sandwich of was and will be and is
As a nation watches one man catch and not catch a ball
Or hit one
Or dunk one
And the edge of all of the theater seats collapse because no one sat back far enough
That moment of falling
Right after jumping
Looking at the cliff and wondering why the hell you jumped
Missing how worth it the fall had been.
But you are mine
The reason I forget to breathe
I remind myself to breathe so I can be alive for you as long as possible
For more moments to stand next to you
In such beautiful irony that doing so makes me asthmatic
And that bitch doctor won’t give me an inhaler.
I want to unlock the secret of your smile
Tuck it away in folds of myself that only you and God see
Save it for when your eyes have a rainy day
Pull out your smile like an upside down rainbow of hope
Or a bright yellow umbrella in the long-winded story of I love you
As you laugh like a bridge I can’t and must cross
I want to meet the person who told you that you could look in a mirror
And see what you look like
Darling you are more beautiful than any glass could make
Our creator is all you reflect
Who told you how to measure your years in numbers
Rather than smiles, tears, and days you watched the sunset?
Who taught you how to make a wish on milkweed dandelions?
Or told you that shooting stars were magic?
I feel magical when I am with you
Covered in tinker bell’s fairy dust
Which lands an awful lot like your kisses do
This is the deepest secret.
The one the world screams in deaf ears
In kindergarten
Or on your diploma
Or on the bus out of new jersey at three a.m. beside the little Indian boy who couldn't read
Or in the symphonies that fill up stadiums of people hoping to avoid the silence
Or when they tell you, you have cancer
Or when your first dog dies
Or when the ocean washes away your fresh footprints like a salty hourglass kiss
Or when the cancer returns
Or when someone taught you how to pray
Or on your deathbed when someone still asks how old you are
And also in your stumbling, glorious, wet, can’t have just one first kisses
The way you whispers my name and it sounds better in your mouth than my own
When your right hand doesn’t know what your left is doing
And your left hand did something good
When you realize that god designed your fingers to fit perfectly in someone else’s
When love arrives
The disaster my break up poem would be
When you realize that I won’t ever stop loving you
When I cry at a stoplight because your gone
When I turn the car whatever direction you are
When I drive to see you with the heartbeat of a bumblebee
And sweaty palms gripping the wheel
When everything seems to be taken but they can’t take what you have
When someone tells you you're beautiful
When you learn that if they stripped you to your
elements you would look a lot like stardust
Baby you must have been fashioned there With your galactic love and star flecked eyes
Here is the deepest secret
This thing that is keeping the planets from crashing into each other
Like towers planes weren't supposed to hit
Like your eyelashes beating as your cheeks blush
Like citizen feet on the road to Selma
Like rebellion, love, and mistakes and also like sweet tea on a Sunday afternoon
That there are a lot of reasons we forget to breathe
Ellie, you're mine.
